While every industry has their own specialized vocabulary, we have to admit that real estate agents take things to a whole other level. First off, we often use short-forms and nicknames for the paperwork used in a real estate transaction. If you’ve ever listened to a couple of agents talk about real estate, it likely sounds like nonsense.
“Did you get a B.R.A signed for those people or are they tire kickers? You now, the ones you met at the public for the place holding back?”
Let’s Google Translate that. “Did you get a Buyer Representation Agreement signed by the potential buyer clients so you can represent them, or are they not actually ready to start looking? You know, the people you met at the public open house for your listing that was doing a one week marketing period before accepting offers?”
While industry jargon is by no means specific to real estate agents, we are somewhat unique in that we also take common terms and make some liberal interpretations in the way we use them. We like to call that Realtorspeak, and it can come across as more of a learning disability than an actual other language.
Let’s take a tongue in cheek look at some of the best examples.
“Convenient location”
If you read through real estate listings, one of the most common phrases you’ll read is “convenient location”, though convenient to what is the question! We’ve been to properties that we can confidently say were convenient to absolutely nothing worth seeing. This phrase is often paired with being “upper” or “lower” to a desirable area, such as the semi-detached house that is conveniently located close to the Beach, while actually being a 20 minute drive away.
“Can be”
Say what you will about us, Realtors are a forward looking bunch. That den “can be” a bedroom, albeit one without a door, window or closet. That backyard “can be” landscaped into a private oasis by simply adding a deck, water feature, fences, trees, grass and interlocking patio stones. While MLS listings cannot make material misrepresentations about the property, optimism is very much allowed.
“Lovingly”
Whether it is lovingly maintained, lovingly decorated or lovingly renovated, we do admire the mental picture that goes with this word. Picture the owner polishing the floor with a smile, resting a hand on top of the kitchen counter with pride at its cleanliness and so forth. No angry renovations in this place!
“Gentrifying”
Ah, gentrification. While in some circles, gentrification is a negative term, for Realtors, it is the dawn of a bright new future. Yes, this area is getting better. In fact, last week there were only two cars broken into on the street as opposed to four! This term is often a shorthand for “Yes, it’s a bad area right now, but it has to get better, right? Right!?”
“Views”
With the eagle eyesight Realtors possess, we think that a real estate agent with glasses should be grounds for expulsion from the industry. We’ve stood on a balcony with clients on many an occasion, looking for the “Views of the lake” the listing promises, only to finally spot a bit of blue between the two condo buildings blocking the lake. Please don’t get us started on “Gorgeous views”, which is code for “There isn’t another condo directly beside your building, so you can see some distant skyline if you look in one specific direction.”
“New”
Some Realtors have a very liberal interpretation of this word. New floors, done three tenants and four years ago. Newly renovated bathroom, complete with gold faucets from the 1980s. We often see agents substitute “recent” for “new” but it has the same issue. After all, we “recently” found our buyer clients a detached home for $300,000 and they’ve been living there happily for 15 years now.
“5-star”
Just like every ranking system has different criteria, it is fair to say that some Realtors have a very high ranging scale of ranking criteria. Is 5-star the best? Is the scale up to 10 stars? Do these Realtors consider restaurants with table cloths 5-star? A similar phrase that is used in the rental market is “Triple A tenants”, which is meant to indicate the most desirable of potential renters for a property. We have seen agents submitting offers on behalf of their “Triple A tenant” where the credit report shows a consumer proposal and pending bankruptcy.
“Den”
Our favourite example of Realtorspeak has been saved for last! The much abused “Den” in the “1 + 1” condo unit. The first number one refers to the number of bedrooms, but the second number one is talking about a den. Depending on the listing agent’s interpretation of this word, a den can mean a separate room with a door and closet, or it can mean a nook in the front hall where a narrow bench might fit. On one memorable occasion, we viewed a listing where the “den” in question was the hallway. There is such a liberal interpretation for this word that it makes finding a unit with a proper den quite challenging.
We hope you enjoyed learning how to Realtorspeak and that you put it to good use at your next dinner with friends. In all seriousness, Realtors are tasked with selling properties and as such part of our job is to try to put the most positive spin on a place that we can. This means that the descriptions tend to be optimistic and forward looking, which is actually a nice way of looking at the world.
It does, however, mean that you can’t take most descriptions at face value when you’re reading a MLS listing. If you or someone you like want a Realtor who can decode the Realtorspeak and find you a property that is actually great now – not just in the future with a lot of effort and money – please get in touch!
